Excerpt from ’Twas the Night before Christmas


A ribald parody of the classic Christmas poem. It’s been my tradition to re-post it each year as a gift to my followers.

  • R-18
  • Gay humor
  • 7 pages

’Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the place,
All the young men were stirring, ’specially those wearing lace.
The stockings were stuffed with fresh condoms piled high,
In hopes that St. Yaoi would be dropping by.

The new boys (all seven) were snug in one bed,
And visions of sugar cocks danced in each head.
The Madam (a cross-dressing twink whom I favored)
Was cleaning up lube that was pineapple flavored.

When down in the Play Pit arose such a clatter,
She sprang down the stairs to see what was the matter.
The noise woke me quickly. I jumped up, got dressed
(No more than my short-shorts)—my hair was a mess!

I ran down the stairs to the Play Pit and saw
A saucy young man wearing nothing at all
But a Santa hat. Madam was drooling, mouth open.
The look in her eyes said she really was hopin’
To take Santa right then, before he had spoken.

This young man’s physique was so hot, I said, “Wowie!”
I knew in a moment it must be St. Yaoi.
More rapid than eagles his sex toys, they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.